In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate
The Forty Grand
If one plants an orchard on a chemical dump without first digging it out and replacing it with good soil, it will produce poisonous fruit. Similarly, the spiritual traveller who harbors vile character in his heart cannot go very far in the path until he addresses it. This lesson works on two key fundamentals of akhlaq or “good character”: establishing the prayer and holding one’s temper. It consists in forty days in a row of these two things without a single exception.
I. During this lesson (and each of the subsequent muraqaba lessons), if one delays any of the five obligatory prayers (including witr, if one is Hanafi) past its valid time by, for example, sleeping through the dawn prayer until sunrise—unless there is a valid excuse such as one’s monthly period or joining two prayers for travel or rain—it immediately vitiates the forty days and one must return to begin them again from day one, and then finish from there.
II. The same is true of showing anger towards others for the sake of one’s nafs or “ego”: a single instance of this vitiates the forty days, and they must be begun again and finished out in a row. Now, anger is part of the human soul which Allah has created with a divine wisdom, and this lesson is not vitiated by using it in its proper place, such as in jihad against the enemies of Allah to render His Word paramount; or jihad against one’s spiritual enemies: the ego (nafs), caprice (hawa), this world (dunya), the Devil; or jihad against the bad and false (batil) when one’s intention is purely for Allah. This lesson is only vitiated by anger that is unacceptable by the standards of the Sacred Law and the spiritual path.
From ancient times, sages have observed that “anger takes what it wants at the price of soul,” and tantrums have always been regarded as the opposite of spirituality. In an earlier day, what was termed “rage” in men was called “hysteria” in women, while in modern times it has been dignified with names like “road-rage.” When the smoke clears however, the problem is much the same: people who think it is acceptable to act like spoiled little children.
Islam does not permit this. Imam Ibn Hajar al-Haytami has listed “anger for the sake of one’s ego” as an enormity in al-Zawajir, his work on major sins. A man came to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) and said, “Advise me.” He replied, “Don’t get angry.” The man repeated himself several times, but the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) only said: “Don’t get angry” (Bukhari, 8.35: 6116. S).
The ulema of Sacred Law interpret this hadith figuratively, as meaning to refrain from the bad consequences of anger: saying or doing what comes to mind when angry. This is the work of this lesson. The sheikhs of the path however, interpret the hadith literally, saying that the cause of anger for the sake of the ego is haughtiness (kibr), which is itself unlawful, and one of the most imperative things to get rid of in the spiritual path.
To do this, one must be able to discern whether one’s anger is for oneself and one’s ego, as is common, or is for the sake of Allah or one’s fellow man, as is rare. Only anger for the sake of Allah or one’s fellow man is acceptable during this lesson, while anger for oneself and one’s ego, if one manifests it, interrupts the lesson and necessitates beginning again. The outward signs of anger for the ego that breaks the continuity of this lesson may be summarized in the following guidelines and examples, from which similar cases may be judged.
(1) It is broken by raising one’s voice for longer than two sentences. As soon as one begins a third sentence with a raised voice, flushed face, or threatening manner, it immediately vitiates the lesson. When debating or contesting a point with someone, some excitedness is normal, and does not break the lesson unless it results in impugning the other’s person, as opposed to his mistaken words or beliefs or actions. Impugning the reason why someone is saying something does not vitiate the lesson when necessary to the discussion and done without rancor or vehemence.
(2) It is broken by anger that results in fighting, vulgarity, cursing, insult, ridicule, vituperation, cutting remarks, taunts, gibes, lying, not talking to another for more than three days, and other forms of malice.
(3) It is also vitiated by such things as angrily slamming doors, breaking, throwing, or destroying things, spitting, and other typical elements of tantrums.
(4) If one has been wronged by someone and is angrily “getting it off one’s chest” (tashaffi) to a third party, then if there is no palpable benefit or improvement that the listener is capable of providing besides listening, it is slander (ghiba), and as such is unlawful (haram) and necessitates repentance, though it does not break the forty days unless the person being badly talked about is actually present.
(5) Nagging and scolding break the forty days if accompanied by a raised voice, vehemence, or angry recriminations. If they are mere low-key whining, they do not break the forty days, though if repetitious, they are unbecoming and effeminate from men, and annoying and useless from women, and almost always detrimental to the affection and respect that should obtain between two people, be it husband and wife, or parent and child.
(6) Disciplining children or others under one’s authority, by word or deed, does not vitiate the forty days if done sincerely for their sake, as opposed to when done out of anger for the sake of one’s ego, as for example, in indignation at having been disobeyed, or similar egotistical motive, in which case it does vitiate the forty.
(7) The same applies to standing up in anger, when necessary, to a bullying supervisor, husband, wife, or other: it must be intended for their good, not merely to vindicate oneself or put the other person in their place. To decide what one’s motive was, in this case or in (6) above, one must look carefully at what was in one’s heart at the moment the action came to mind.
If one has a short temper, the following things help:
(a) One should ask Allah’s help in meeting anger with fortitude. The sunna is to say A‘udhu bi Llahi min ash-Shaytani r-Rajim (I take refuge in Allah from the accursed Devil). Abu Madyan has said, “Whoever does not seek Allah’s help against his ego will be out-wrestled by it.” It is also of the sunna to make ablution (wudu) if angry, and if walking, to stand still, if standing, to sit down, and if sitting, to lay back.
(b) Persevere in this lesson. Return to it implacably until you have the nafs in hand and can control it: eventually it will give up. It is noteworthy that if one pretends to be cool-headed and persists in pretending to be so, Allah eventually disposes the heart to be that way. Sufis have used such takalluf or “pretending” for centuries to attain the qualities they have sought.
(c) Eat the food of the righteous if possible, and avoid eating in restaurants. Food that is prepared in heedlessness of Allah (ghafla) and eaten in heedlessness of Allah produces heedlessness of Allah. What is “atmosphere” to restauranteurs and patrons is heedlessness to those of Allah. Whose hands prepare food matters, and how many a murid has stumbled because of food, without knowing what hit him. No one whose heart is alive should go to restaurants, unless they are travelling or under other exceptional circumstance. At a merely physical level, fried foods and salty foods angry up the blood. One should be aware of what one is about.
©Nuh HaMim Keller
